Loving the Imperfect

Loving the Imperfect

Christopher Kolker MD

“What? You want to have this kid?”

The obstetrician in the room blurted this out automatically, without even thinking. Composing himself with only a bit more calmness and professionalism, he followed it with, “I just told you your child is going to have Down syndrome. Don’t you want to take care of this now?”

The determined young lady, sprawled on the ultrasound examination table, sat up, determined to meet the doctor’s statement on more equal terms. “I want that child.”

The doctor stepped back, looked to the floor, and shook his head. “But don’t you see all the trouble this child will have? And what about all the pain and suffering you’re going to have?”

But Rita was unmoved. With the support of her Christian husband, they continued the pregnancy and delivered a beautiful baby boy. Yes, the Down syndrome diagnosis was real, but Rita was ready.

Even as she left the hospital in a wheelchair with her new baby in hand, she heard the whispers that had plagued her ever since she stepped inside the labor and delivery ward: “She’s really having it? Doesn’t she know? What is she thinking?

Four years later, I saw Rita, not in my clinic, but in a Walmart parking lot.  Unthinking, as I pass her and her son, I ask, “How are you doing?”

She takes me at my word and gives me a brief synopsis of the past four years.  “I am fabulous. Doug has taught me so much. He is progressing nicely, and he always has a smile on his face. He is walking pretty well now. We have lots of doctor’s visits, but that’s ok. Doug’s just a joy to be around.”

With that, I see a smiling, proud young parent bend over and tie the shoe of a young boy with Down syndrome. Doug has a gigantic smile on his face, and while she is expertly tying, he waves at me in the most beautiful and innocent way possible.

Rita pops up after she finishes. “One thing I will tell you,” Rita says, “is that I’ve learned the gift of loving patience and perseverance. He has taught me so much that nobody else could have.”

And with that, they walk toward Walmart.

Doug taught me something as well. He taught me what his gift to this world is. He teaches all of us about true innocence and beauty.  But most of all, he taught me that all life is precious, even during its challenges.  And he does it in a way that no one else can.

All things were made through him, and without him was not anything made that was made. John 1:3

God’s work never ceases to amaze me. May you see God’s beauty in his handiwork around you.